Don't Believe Everything You Think.
Live for the life you always wanted but were too scared to pursue.
Live for you. Live for me. Live for every person who has ever loved you, for the people who have come before you so that you may be here today.
Live for the fire that burns in your soul, that tells you: keep going, you’re almost there, just a little farther. Because when Rome burned down, the emperor didn’t run away, he stayed and he sang for his people. Stay. Sing for your people. Sing for us.
Are you listening? Because this is your life, singing a siren song to capture your attention and steer away from the rocks, to guide you back home.
My anxiety has taken over again…. It is truly crippling. I started my evening off in a great mood, I felt productive; cleaned house, made dinner, the whole nine yards, you know? Then BAM. I felt as though I could fall to my knees and cry in a matter of seconds. To be frank, it’s taking everything I’ve got right now not to do so. I can’t find my journal, which is stressing me out even more, so here I am. Sitting on my couch, in my exes boxes a baggy t-shirt, and messy hair, blogging about it. I feel so gross. Absolutely awful inside and out. Shower hasn’t helped. Can’t stand the thought of a bath. Going outside made it worse, so where does that leave me? I should be taking care of my laundry. But then, maybe it’s best I care for myself first, calm down a bit. I really hate it when this happens. Always so sudden, without reason more often than not. Or rather, with reason, just something I’m not fully aware of. A trigger of some sort. I think it’s time for me to start taking notes on what triggers me, and try to figure out why. I should have never stopped to begin with. I can feel myself fighting back tears. They’re welling up and I hate it. I feel like I’m cramped in a tiny space, when in reality I know I’m not. What I wouldn’t give to not feel this way. What is it called when you feel bigger than you are? I’m really not sure how to describe it other than that. I’m a small female that feels larger than life. I tried talking to someone about it… What a waste of time. Most people seem to think I’m happy more often than not, which just isn’t true. I’m so tired of faking a smile- hiding behind it. Do you ever feel alone in a room full of people? I do. Though being around people usually makes for a good distraction from that feeling after awhile.
Something else that’s eating me up? I am absolutely head over heels for David McGee and I haven’t got any idea what to do about it. Do I tell him? How awkward might that be for him? To say after just casually sleeping together that, “Hey! I really like you and you make me feel good. I want to be with you more than an electron wants to attach itself to a proton. Would you be so kind as to give me a chance?”
God, how foolish of me… Where is the sense in all of this? I mean really. I want David, but also Seth and Nick? ASHLEY NO!!! I swear I’ve lost it dude. I’m off my rocker right now and it’s high time that I get my head on straight. I need to. I also need to decide who I really want once and for all. I was about to say it’s a tie between David and Nick, but in reality I honestly am having issues deciding between all three of them. After last night, I think Nick should be out of the race though. Fuck all that I’ll choose my music over anything and everything BS after saying I love you to me!
So now I suppose it’s down to Seth and David. Seth is wonderful and truly a great man. Easy to talk to, sweet, funny, charming, a good father to his son. Wait, if this is the case, then what is it about David that makes me want him so much? I think it’s time I got to the bottom of this nonsense. But how do I go about it all? Maybe a list of pros and cons (or just pros)? Sure, why not. Let’s start with Seth first!
Seth:
1. Charming
2. Easy to talk to
3. Can carry a convo for hours on end
4. Smart
5. Good father to his son
6. Handsome
7. Neighbor
8. Worthy of cuddles
FUCK THIS I’M GOING OUT FOR A BEER
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
It is not my job to keep everyone else happy.
(via words-of-emotion)
People From Classic Paintings Inserted Into Modern City Life
this is so so so cool
(via blissfulirrelevance)
